Breakdown

It is odd, that I write a post about lacking emotion when it comes to photography and then have a breakdown.

The last few weeks have not been that enjoyable. I have been in a well of loathing, self doubt and creative frustration. Partly to do with immensity of the talk I have set myself for my final project but also because I haven’t found a way into my research project, spending hours just blindly jabbing at it, but never finding a way in. Slowly getting more and more frustrated with myself.

It has not helped that my recent photoshoots, have been a bit of a disaster and some of the equipment I have bought has not come close to meeting expectation. Meaning, I have been trying to find ways around the issues instead of working on being creative.

Another area, where I have had issues is in class. The last few weeks have been much more technical and we have been using Adobe photoshop and Premiere Pro. One of my big issues is I get overwhelmed very quickly when it comes to information and my brain finds it very hard to take new information in. Add to that, I get easily distracted and you get the perfect recipe for disaster. This has not been helped by suffering from hypersensitivity to sound at certain times.

The end results being that I have had to leave classes early and I haven’t got out of class nearly as much as I would have liked, when I have been in class.

Of course, the world still goes on and time still continues. I have around a month before I start my final project and I haven’t been able to get enough models let alone sort out costumes. I am also having issues on sorting out what kind of backgrounds I want for my shoots.

I am very good generally when it comes to light but set building is scary and whilst I may want an elaborate palace for a background, I am completely inept when it comes to building something. So I am trying to think of ways around this but with no success so far.

Over the next couple of weeks, I need to sort out costumes, which will involve a trip up to Stratford upon Avon, of course this means having all the models in place, as I need to have their sizes, to fit the costumes.

Whilst I have a wonderful makeup artist, I need a hair stylist still and I am wondering if I need a costumer to make sure every costume looks right.

Things are all moving too fast, or more importantly I am moving too slow.